Phunny Chit

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Phunny Chit

Postby TryThinking » Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:50 pm

I was going through my emails looking for an old email and stumbled upon this little tidbit.
I'm not sure if I shared this with the old Swiss site or not, in any case it's possibly worth the read. ;)


Disclaimer: I'm not prejudice in any way, but used some terms for the visual reference.

6/04/09
*******************
On a separate note, (not bagging on any nationality here) I went to the local "Circle K" little market to get a quick money order this morning and here's the scenario:

I'm in a hurry, but will probably be longer to go to the next closest location so I wait in the line 5 people deep. New guy at the counter sporting a dot on his forehead and when I get up to him and ask him if the Money Order machine is working, he nods. (jewelled dot stayed on forehead for this) So I told him I need two money orders, one for $500 and one for $475 and I start counting out the money for him on the counter. He waits for me to finish counting it all out and then repeats back to me "one hundred dollars" and I said "No, one for $500 and one for $475" He says OK and starts pushing his touch screen monitor which is turned away from me and I hear the machine start printing out the first money order, then the second starts printing and I'm waiting for him to put the cash away and get me my money orders when he starts entering on the screen again. I ask him "did you do the money orders already" and he replies "I have done two so far and am beginning to do the third for you" I said "umm I only need the two" to which he replied "I have only done two so far for $100 and am beginning to start the rest" I said to him "I said that I only needed one for $500 not 5 for $100 and I'm not going to pay $ .99 for each one" He looks at me with the camel in the headlights look and says "excuse me please while I help the next person real quick" and pushes my money off to the side.

Bewildered and amazed I step to the side so he can help the next person as I think he was having a blue screen moment in his head. He rings up the next person who pays with a CC and then has to get the receipt and sign it and then says thank you. Looks to the next person and repeats the same thing again three more times until the four people that were behind me all made their purchases of doughnuts and coffee with a CC at friggen Circle K?!

Then he says "OK, now I will begin to finish up with you" and another customer had just come in to the store and was walking right to the counter and I put my arm on the elderly ladies shoulder and said "please go ahead" she replied "that is nice of you" to which I replied "thank you, I've been nice 5 times already" she smiled and made her purchase of a carton of cigarettes to which the cashier (lets call him dot) pulled out three different brands of cigarettes at which time the lady would repeat "no not that one" and say what she wanted again. I saw that she was getting confused because she was having a hard time communicating with him and was not fluent in Dot speak so I asked her what kind was she looking for and she said Parliament, so I said "OK, the next shelf below" (he's reaching for these on the back counter with sliding walls of death) and he moves his hand upward and I say to him "no your other down" so he moves over to the right and I said "no go back, but just move down below it" he does and pulls out a carton of cigs and as he is I said "no below those is the Parliaments not Marlboro's" He pushes the box back in and reaches to the right of it and starts pulling out the box of Marlboro lights?! Holy Shit I look over at Grandma and tell her "I'm sorry there might be a bit of a communication barrier here" to which she rolls her eyes. I tell dot "the BLUUUUUE box on the shelf below that, that says PAARLAAAMENT on it" He reaches for the white box and looks at me and I shake my head no and then he reaches to the right of that and finally has a hold of the correct box and then looks at me and I nod yes! He gives her the carton and charges her to which she pays with........... yep a CC and signs and yada yada ect. She starts to walk out and thanks me for the assistance to which I replied "you're welcome, I've had practice here for the last 10 minutes." she giggled

OK my turn again and Dot says "can I help you please" and I said "yes if we could just finish up the money orders that would be great." He then went over to the monitor and started tapping out the instructions with the refreshing headlight glare again and I remind him "that is ONE for $500 (hold up one finger) and then ONE for $475 (flex the finger and re-extend it)" He nods and taps out the secret sequence on the non-visible screen and then the printer spits out another money order and he goes to retrieve it. He comes back and hands me the three money orders which were two for $100 and then 1 for $300 to which I replied "that is fine as long as I don't have to pay for 3 when I wanted just the one for $500?" Dot goes over to the secret screen and starts tapping it again with a more confident rhythm this time and I hold my breath and am seeing little cuckoo birds flying around his head at this point as I'm patiently waiting to finish what usually is about a 5 minute transaction at the most even with a line. He goes over to the printer as it is now HOPEFULLY printing out just one correct money order and then when it is finished, he hands it to me and the amount on it is $480 which was the amount that I gave him to pay for the second money order in the first place back when I had a bit of sanity still left in the human race walking through that store door. I take a deep breath and ask him for a pen to write with, he gives me one and I grab a used lottery ticket sitting on the counter and turn it over and write $475 on it in BIG NUMBERS and say "that is the amount that this (slides the money order back to him) is supposed to be for not $480, that is just the amount that I gave you to pay for the $475 money order." He looks at me as if someone just pulled the string and turned on the light bulb and says "my apologies, please to wait for me to cash you another one please" I said "thank you that would be wonderful." He goes over to the magic screen and starts tapping on it again and inside I'm losing faith and pick up the paper that I had written the number on and point to it again with my other hand, he nods and pushes the button one more time and the drawer opens and he then closes it and starts tapping again on the magic screen. (still wondering if he was repeating the same wrong amount) I am holding my breath and thinking about all the outsourcing of work being sent to dotland and am wondering what amount was going to be on the next golden ticket he pulls from the printer? The printer starts printing, dot walks over to retrieve it, pulls it out and examines it very carefully and then walks over to me and sets it on the counter with a concerned look. I look down and see a money order for..... $475 I thanked him with both hands pressed together (praying style) and bowed slightly. He smiled and said "pleased to be of assistance please come again."

I think I finally stopped laughing about 7 or 8 miles later......
*Anger is the wind that blows out the flame of reason*
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:36 pm

Try: I know I'm opening myself up to lots of chit myself, but--I don't get it...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:29 pm

I find it amazing the people that businesses allow to handle money. I don't like to accumulate a lot of change, so I carry my change with me and try to pay with the exact change. If I can't do that, I try to pay so that it comes out to the next quarter. For example, if the cost is $6.61, I'll hand the cashier a ten, a dime and a penny, so that I well receive $3.50 in change. Half of the time they will look from the bill to the change, wondering what to do. I tell them to just ring it up and let the register figure it out.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:38 pm

Just as an aside, how long has it been since you've received a fifty-cent piece in change?
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:11 pm

Emeritus: I STILL don't understand the joke. Explain the joke to me and I'll be happy to tell you when the last time I received a fifty cent piece for change. :mrgreen:
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby TryThinking » Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:16 pm

cklaurence wrote:Try: I know I'm opening myself up to lots of chit myself, but--I don't get it...

What don't you get? Why it was phunny ~ why this person was handling money ~ why I was so patient while all this was transpiring ~ or why I couldn't stop laughing for about ten minutes after I left? :roll:
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby dredwak » Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:44 am

Disclaimer: I'm not prejudice in any way, but used some terms for the visual reference.
=======
im sorry to say that i am...i cant stand idiots...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby dredwak » Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:48 am

i think that guy has a brother...at the quickie mart down the street...i stood at the counter for 5 minutes while he was stocking cigarettes...when i first came in...he said (i think) one moment please...as soon as he stepped up to the counter i told him i forgot what i came for...took my $50 off the counter and left...i havent been back...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:15 am

TryThinking wrote:
cklaurence wrote:Try: I know I'm opening myself up to lots of chit myself, but--I don't get it...

What don't you get? Why it was phunny ~ why this person was handling money ~ why I was so patient while all this was transpiring ~ or why I couldn't stop laughing for about ten minutes after I left? :roll:


I don't understand any of it... :oops:
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:17 am

*But if his brother is working near dred, then it must be his dad that is working at my bank...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby TryThinking » Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:08 am

cklaurence wrote:*But if his brother is working near dred, then it must be his dad that is working at my bank...

you're getting warmer....
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Mon Jul 12, 2010 11:28 am

Okay, Try--I've got it now... :roll:
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:28 pm

Have you ever noticed the difficulty that foreigners have with workplace banter? They simply don't know how to take it. I've seen some who thought that there was going to be a fight when it was the routine agitation.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby kicks » Wed Sep 22, 2010 2:32 pm

This Phunny Chit board hasn't been used in awhile.

This was on MSN this morning. I kid you not. This is real. And we wonder why other countries are catching us and passing us in education. Sheeesh!
100922-pubic-billboard-5a_hlarge.jpg
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Last edited by kicks on Thu Sep 23, 2010 5:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Wed Sep 22, 2010 2:40 pm

Here's a picture of us on vacation.

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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby TryThinking » Wed Sep 22, 2010 9:05 pm

kicks wrote:This Phunny Chit board hasn't been used in awhile.

This was on MSN this morning. I kid you not. This is real. And we wonder why other countries are catching us and passing us in education. Sheeesh!

Well my first thought was to say unfriggingbelievable, but it's not..... many idiots out there these days. What makes it worse is how many people that went through before it got up on the sign! WOW
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:12 am

Actually it's not about education, but the way that the human mind works. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:34 pm

Emeritus wrote:Actually it's not about education, but the way that the human mind works. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

This is true, Em; however, addressing kicksy's post--sad, but true: The United States is now a third world country. Our businesses, in their rush to squeeze every extra dollar of profit they can, have outsourced manufacturing and everything else before, between and up to "collection" phone calling, to the point where this Country is morally, ethically, and monetarily bankrupt; our kids have (exactly what???) to look forward to--save the assurance that there will always be a war to fight in; our retirees are looking for other countries wherein they can retire and actually live on the money Social Security and/or their pensions allow, and have enough to survive till they die--OMG! SOMEONE KICK THIS SOAP BOX OUT FROM UNDER ME!!!

Sorry kicks. I know you meant that post as something to give us a chuckle. Sometimes I think I'm turning into one of those crazy, miserable old women who have nothing to do but bitch about everything. I apologize :oops: ...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby kicks » Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:39 pm

Not a problem CK. I did post it for a chuckle but I did note above it that our education system is in grave condition.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:42 pm

kicks wrote:Not a problem CK. I did post it for a chuckle but I did note above it that our education system is in grave condition.

I saw that. I don't know why I continue to fret about the things I have no control over--never had and never will. As I was just saying to LadyHawk in the Lounge, I'm playing hooky from writing, so give me any subject and I'll have something to say...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:35 pm

The problems with our education system may have a lot to do with priorities. The public spends many times as much on entertainment as it does on education. Unless parents emphasize to their children the importance of education and take the responsibility to see that their children keep up their assignments, there is little that any school can do. It is notable that on the university level the American schools are rated the best in the world, hands down. The difference? Students in college want to be there and are paying for it. They try to get the most for their money that they can.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:49 pm

Rank Name of University Country
1 Harvard University USA
2 University of Oxford UK
3 University of Cambridge UK
4 Stanford University USA
5 Massachusetts Institute of Technology USA
6 University of California, Berkeley USA
7 California Institute of Technology USA
8 Princeton University USA
9 Yale University USA
10 University of Chicago USA
11 Columbia University USA
12 University of California, San Diego USA
13 Cornell University USA
14 University of California, Los Angeles USA
15 University Pennsylvania USA
16 University of Wisconsin, Madison USA
17 University of Washington, Seattle USA
18 Tokyo University Japan
19 University of California, San Francisco USA
20 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor USA
21 Kyoto University Japan
22 Imperial College London UK
23 Johns Hopkins University USA
24 University of Toronto Canada
25 University College London UK
26 University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign USA
27 Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich Switzerland
28 Washington University, St. Louis USA
29 New York University USA
30 Duke University USA
31 University of Minnesota, Twin Cities USA
32 Northwestern University USA
33 Rockefeller University USA
34 University of Colorado, Boulder USA
35 University of California, Santa Barbara USA
36 University of British Columbia Canada
37 University of Maryland, College Park USA
38 Utrecht University Netherlands
39 University of Texas, Austin USA
40 University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center USA
41 Pennsylvania State University, University Park USA
42 University of California, Davis USA
43 Vanderbilt University USA
44 University of California, Irvine USA
45 University of Paris 06 France
46 University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh USA
47 University of Southern California USA
48 Rutgers State University, New Brunswick USA
49 University of Manchester UK

When foreign students get a chance to study overseas, the vast majority choose to attend an American university.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:51 pm

Emeritus wrote:The problems with our education system may have a lot to do with priorities. The public spends many times as much on entertainment as it does on education. Unless parents emphasize to their children the importance of education and take the responsibility to see that their children keep up their assignments, there is little that any school can do. It is notable that on the university level the American schools are rated the best in the world, hands down. The difference? Students in college want to be there and are paying for it. They try to get the most for their money that they can.

Oh Em, I have tremendous misgivings about what is to come in this Country (and the world...). Me? I'm on my way out; however, for my children? I suffer a lot about them. I was a staunch member of ZPG, and for my children's sake, I'm sorry I ended up having them. Selfishly...my children are the greatest part of my life--yet in reality? All the awful things I dreaded that led me to ZPG in the first place have come to pass--and my children (and grandchildren, I should live to see them--see? That selfish side of me again) are left to deal with it...
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Thu Sep 23, 2010 3:00 pm

In a valiant attempt to get the "Phunny Chit" page back on track, C.K. digs deep into her bag of jokes and comes up with this small offering:
A police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.




The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.




When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.




The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"




Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?"




Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."




Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"




"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."




"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"




"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."




"Aggressive and hostile?"




"Yes, Sir?




"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"




"Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.




(How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client?)
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Thu Sep 23, 2010 3:46 pm

LOL. The sad part is that you can give people tickets only for traffic violations, not for being assholes. If that were possible we wouldn't need to collect income tax. We could meet the Defense budget from Congress alone.
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Fri Sep 24, 2010 3:17 pm

My neighbors are complaining about my yard art. Philistines!

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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:13 pm

Emeritus wrote:My neighbors are complaining about my yard art. Philistines!

yard.jpg

Pay them no mind, Em. Your yard art is, er, um (((((you can smell the wood burning))))), really quite something... :lol:
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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Fri Sep 24, 2010 6:56 pm

The ancestral home of the King Family.

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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby Emeritus » Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:03 pm

I didn't know that you got style points in bullfighting.

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Re: Phunny Chit

Postby cklaurence » Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:44 pm

Emeritus wrote:I didn't know that you got style points in bullfighting.

bull headstand.jpg

If any style points are given, they should be given to the bull--Magnificent!!!
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