Phunny Chit

[Emeritus]

The problems with our education system may have a lot to do with priorities. The public spends many times as much on entertainment as it does on education. Unless parents emphasize to their children the importance of education and take the responsibility to see that their children keep up their assignments, there is little that any school can do. It is notable that on the university level the American schools are rated the best in the world, hands down. The difference? Students in college want to be there and are paying for it. They try to get the most for their money that they can.

[Emeritus]

Rank Name of University Country
1 Harvard University USA
2 University of Oxford UK
3 University of Cambridge UK
4 Stanford University USA
5 Massachusetts Institute of Technology USA
6 University of California, Berkeley USA
7 California Institute of Technology USA
8 Princeton University USA
9 Yale University USA
10 University of Chicago USA
11 Columbia University USA
12 University of California, San Diego USA
13 Cornell University USA
14 University of California, Los Angeles USA
15 University Pennsylvania USA
16 University of Wisconsin, Madison USA
17 University of Washington, Seattle USA
18 Tokyo University Japan
19 University of California, San Francisco USA
20 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor USA
21 Kyoto University Japan
22 Imperial College London UK
23 Johns Hopkins University USA
24 University of Toronto Canada
25 University College London UK
26 University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign USA
27 Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich Switzerland
28 Washington University, St. Louis USA
29 New York University USA
30 Duke University USA
31 University of Minnesota, Twin Cities USA
32 Northwestern University USA
33 Rockefeller University USA
34 University of Colorado, Boulder USA
35 University of California, Santa Barbara USA
36 University of British Columbia Canada
37 University of Maryland, College Park USA
38 Utrecht University Netherlands
39 University of Texas, Austin USA
40 University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center USA
41 Pennsylvania State University, University Park USA
42 University of California, Davis USA
43 Vanderbilt University USA
44 University of California, Irvine USA
45 University of Paris 06 France
46 University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh USA
47 University of Southern California USA
48 Rutgers State University, New Brunswick USA
49 University of Manchester UK

When foreign students get a chance to study overseas, the vast majority choose to attend an American university.

[cklaurence]

The problems with our education system may have a lot to do with priorities. The public spends many times as much on entertainment as it does on education. Unless parents emphasize to their children the importance of education and take the responsibility to see that their children keep up their assignments, there is little that any school can do. It is notable that on the university level the American schools are rated the best in the world, hands down. The difference? Students in college want to be there and are paying for it. They try to get the most for their money that they can.

Oh Em, I have tremendous misgivings about what is to come in this Country (and the world...). Me? I'm on my way out; however, for my children? I suffer a lot about them. I was a staunch member of ZPG, and for my children's sake, I'm sorry I ended up having them. Selfishly...my children are the greatest part of my life--yet in reality? All the awful things I dreaded that led me to ZPG in the first place have come to pass--and my children (and grandchildren, I should live to see them--see? That selfish side of me again) are left to deal with it...

[cklaurence]

In a valiant attempt to get the "Phunny Chit" page back on track, C.K. digs deep into her bag of jokes and comes up with this small offering:
A police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.




The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.




When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.




The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"




Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?"




Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."




Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"




"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."




"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"




"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."




"Aggressive and hostile?"




"Yes, Sir?




"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"




"Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.




(How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client?)

[Emeritus]

LOL. The sad part is that you can give people tickets only for traffic violations, not for being assholes. If that were possible we wouldn't need to collect income tax. We could meet the Defense budget from Congress alone.

[Emeritus]

My neighbors are complaining about my yard art. Philistines!

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[cklaurence]

My neighbors are complaining about my yard art. Philistines!

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Pay them no mind, Em. Your yard art is, er, um (((((you can smell the wood burning))))), really quite something...

[Emeritus]

The ancestral home of the King Family.

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[Emeritus]

I didn't know that you got style points in bullfighting.

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[cklaurence]

I didn't know that you got style points in bullfighting.

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If any style points are given, they should be given to the bull--Magnificent!!!

[Emeritus]

I admit that it's an acrobatic bull, but what if it got its horns stuck in the ground?

[cklaurence]

I admit that it's an acrobatic bull, but what if it got its horns stuck in the ground?

Better than sticking in the bullfighter, no?

[Emeritus]

I've never been to a bullfight, because seeing animals killed isn't my idea of entertainment. On the whole those, my sympathies are with the bull.

[cklaurence]

I've never been to a bullfight, because seeing animals killed isn't my idea of entertainment. On the whole those, my sympathies are with the bull.

Agreed, 100%. I don't watch the "fights" either, Em. I don't understand the joy of watching two men beating one another to pulp and eventually oblivion. I don't know how anyone who watched Mohammed Ali in his early years and then sees what has become of him now, can watch them either. Beating people senseless has always made me sick--even before I saw what it did to Ali, but now...well, you know where I'm going with this, and I'm sure I've already made my point (and I'm starting to babble ).

[Emeritus]

There are many things in the human psyche that I will never understand. There is a sort of blood lust that persists in us. There are people who watch motor racing who thrill at crashes. They won't admit it is why they watch what is otherwise a loud and otherwise boring spectacle, of course. Perhaps some people just need their noses rubbed in it to get over that. When I was in Vietnam I was surprised at how strong blood smells in the heat. I had more than enough of that.

[Emeritus]

Pizza delivery!

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[Emeritus]

The hell with hybrids. This one runs on mice!

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[Emeritus]

My getaway car.

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[Emeritus]

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Dinner time for the King family.

[ListenUp]

Not really funny,but might make u smirk a bit.

Greg Nosal Loses Fingertip During Game, Keeps Playing

Virgina Tech left guard, has earned himself a chapter in the lore of football tough guys after Saturday's win over Central Michigan. The junior lost the tip of his pinky at some point in the game, and kept playing.

According to the Richmond Times-Dispatch, Nosal's finger got stuck between two helmets, severing it from the middle of the fingernail up. The missing piece was found inside Nosal's glove.

Nosal wanted to keep playing after the injury was discovered, and the staff dressed the wound and gave him pain medication. The tip of the finger was kept on ice until the end of the third quarter, when Nosal was forced to leave to get it re-attached.

Thats a bad mofo!!!

[Emeritus]

Al Capp had a cartoon detective named Fearless Fosdick, a lampoon of Dick Tracy. He would be shot full of holes that birds could fly through and dismiss them as flesh wounds.

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[Emeritus]

Here's the one that I remembered.

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[Emeritus]

I've had days like this.

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[Emeritus]

I had heard that we developed a stealth fighter plane, but I had no idea...

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[Emeritus]

Just for Halloween.

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[Emeritus]

When was the last time that somebody checked Al Davis for a pulse?

[dredwak]

im walking my dog in the woods...down a snow covered path...and a lady...a 100 yards away...is running at us...so i take my dog...who has issues with people running...10 paces down a side path...where he can freak out and not get close to the lady...much to my chagrin...she stops and asks if the dog will bite her...we are 10 feet away...the dog is on a 5 foot leash and i have him by the collar...so i says to the lady...why are you stopping lady..? with some exasperation...because the dog is going nuts...we are on snow...on a lesser used path and im slipping all over...so she says sorry and starts running again...when i get back to the parking lot her husband/son/boyfriend is waiting for me...and tells me i shouldnt be rude to folks...and i should keep better control of my dog...so i explain to him what happened...and he tells me again not to be rude to his family members...so i tell him he doesnt know what rude is...

[TryThinking]

im walking my dog in the woods...down a snow covered path...and a lady...a 100 yards away...is running at us...so i take my dog...who has issues with people running...10 paces down a side path...where he can freak out and not get close to the lady...much to my chagrin...she stops and asks if the dog will bite her...we are 10 feet away...the dog is on a 5 foot leash and i have him by the collar...so i says to the lady...why are you stopping lady..? with some exasperation...because the dog is going nuts...we are on snow...on a lesser used path and im slipping all over...so she says sorry and starts running again...when i get back to the parking lot her husband/son/boyfriend is waiting for me...and tells me i shouldnt be rude to folks...and i should keep better control of my dog...so i explain to him what happened...and he tells me again not to be rude to his family members...so i tell him he doesnt know what rude is...

Sounds like she was out looking for a missing clue.............

[Emeritus]

Being an evil old man, I would have released the dog and let him explain about rudeness.

[TryThinking]

Favre healthy enough to dance like Vanilla Ice

http://network.yardbarker.com/nfl/article_external/video_brett_favre_practices_for_dancing_with_the_stars/3884230?from=foxsports/NFL+Football/headlines